You are already living the sweet life of a Savvy Solo. How can it possibly get better? Add these three unconventional tips to your routines. You’ll soon find the better it gets, the better it gets.
BALANCE
1. Practice Servant Leadership
When reading articles about the joys of solo living, the first comment is usually, “I’m the ruler of my domain. I can do what I want when I want!” However, being a ruler doesn’t absolve you of responsibility. There is no power in living a life of reckless abandon.
Dr. Jordan Peterson speaks about learning how to negotiate with yourself as both employer and employee. We must learn balance. As a ruler, you can lead by denial, bulldozing, gaslighting, and shaming. It will lead to a life of suffering and powerlessness. Or you can be a leader that lives to serve.
Be kind, loving, and accepting of all aspects of yourself. Lead by putting yourself first. Give yourself every opportunity to grow and reach your full potential. As a leader, you are responsible for creating a spirit of collaboration and resolving conflict within yourself. How? The Universe gave you the perfect partner – your conscious.
What is the conscious? It’s the whisper, the gentle nudge that encourages you to move forward.
Maggie wasn’t unhappy with the company she worked for, but her job made her miserable. She saw a company posting for a new job. The thought, “Apply for that job,” went through her mind for a brief second.
“Are you crazy?” she resisted. “I hate applying for jobs, and I hate it even more, when I have to interview. Why should I go through this effort for a lateral move? No, I won’t do it!” was her knee-jerk reaction. By now, she knew the consequences of not acting on those gentle impulses.
So, she applied for the new role while rolling her eyes at every new step. Did Maggie get the job? No. The manager was so impressed with Maggie that she created a new role. Maggie earned a promotion, more creative freedom, and a raise.
Don’t worry if you don’t listen to the “whisper,” it will get louder. As the Universe serves you, learn to serve yourself. Before you serve, love, and lead others, you must first master these traits in yourself.
Quote: Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is power. Lao Tzu
CREATE
2. Live like it’s heaven on earth
Quote: Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt.
Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.” -Mark Twain.
Parker always disliked the side of her that people described as “mousy.” She took extreme measures to eradicate this character from her personality. To the outside world, she appeared fierce and fearless. On the inside, she was still terrified of everything.
In a last-ditch effort, she prayed to have “One Year of No Fear.” Boy, was that a dumb request. For one year, she went through hell as the Universe threw one terrifying situation after another at her.
Parker was stressed to the point her hair started to fall out, and she developed the onset of high blood pressure. A friend told her, “Parker, you have to do something to bring this under control because this type of prolonged stress kills.”
During this year, Parker listened to many spiritual teachers and their practices. She kept the methods that worked for her; the ones that didn’t, she ignored. In month 8, everything crystalized.
She finally understood how to use these new spiritual practices to navigate the difficult (and joyful) times. In one terrifying year, Parker earned the spiritual maturity she could not achieve in the past three decades.
The Universe provides spiritual lessons.
Parker provided the torture.
When Parker looked at the past year, she realized she was never in danger. She created fear in her mind by catastrophizing every moment in graphic detail.
There is a tremendous spiritual lesson attached to solo living. The space you’ve decided to live in is a spiritual contract between you and the Universe. In other words, your home is a school, playground, or staging area.
The Universe sends you lessons, and you work on them. You fail, and you try again. If you pass, you get a more complex lesson. Everything you encounter has one purpose – to help you grow spiritually. It shows you that
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- You can do it
- You are enough
- You’re stronger than you think
- You are more capable than you know
Most of all, solo living teaches you to trust yourself. Your home is a safe place where there is no failure, judgment, or punishment except what you impose on yourself.
Ask yourself, “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?” Then get to it.
RECHARGE
3. Perfect the Sweet Art of Doing Nothing
Have you considered doing nothing? Sometimes doing nothing is the most productive thing you can do. You must find periods in your life to unplug and do nothing.
Some are so addicted to thinking they cannot conceive of doing nothing. Let’s put a name to the addiction to thinking. It’s worry.
Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” Worrying will not solve a problem; it has no useful function.
Many studies show that prolonged worry keeps you in the fight or flight mode produces cortisol. These levels of stress can put your health at risk.
Here are a few sites that have articles about the importance of doing nothing:
The best part of solo living can be slow living. Finding time to do nothing can change your outlook on life, literally. Take the opportunity to work meditation into your schedule a few minutes a day and add a minute or two every week.
Watch: How to break free from worry – Eckhart Tolle