Did you know that being stuck and being trapped are two different things? Maybe you don’t like your job. You feel stuck because the opportunity you’re looking for hasn’t arrived. “How do I endure this soul-sucking job until I find something else?” you ask. You work on what you can change right now. Read Maria’s true story of overcoming conflict and staying out of spiritual traps.
It was a good day
Maria had a great life. She was a manager of a leasing consultant firm, allowing her to live in a luxury apartment complex at a deeply discounted rate. She received quarterly bonuses that she used to buy lavish gifts for herself and her family. Life was perfect.
The honeymoon phase of a cycle is where people are the most complacent because they think it will last forever. The part of you that worries incessantly is quiet. This is the easiest time to exercise your spiritual muscle. Financially, this is a time to save for a rainy day.
Practice patience when life hands you little inconveniences like being stuck in traffic. Start a journal of positive actions. This is the best time to learn meditation and advance your spiritual practices. Here are some teachers that share different processes of dealing with troubled times.
Making mountains out of molehills
Maria likes the freedom that money provides. However, she fixated on minor annoyances. Her boss is too demanding. Her team is always scamming ways to get out of work. The residents were 
constantly complaining over things that don’t make sense. “Sir, everyone’s apartment is white; you cannot paint the walls black.” Ma’am, we have no proof that your neighbor is stealing your paper. You can call the corporate office, but you can’t sue us because we won’t hire a private investigator.”
Maria is a person that struggled with negativity in her past. It’s easy to focus on good things when everything is going well. It’s a little more challenging at this stage. This is where the negative part of your brain wakes up. It’s trying to take hold of your thought process.
Unfortunately, Maria doesn’t have a spiritual process that helps her deal with troubled times. She tries to suppress her negative feelings. Feelings always find a way to come to the surface. The more Maria complains, the more Maria finds to complain about. Her suffering is taking a life of its own and picking up speed.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire
Maria despises her job, and it shows. She is constantly battling her bosses. She has a high employee turnover rate. Her staff isn’t well-trained, so they cannot fill their housing quotas.
The quarterly bonuses stop coming. To Maria’s surprise, she got fired. She is no longer an employee, so her rent immediately goes to market value – $2,200/month.
Maria didn’t make the best choice; she made a desperate choice. She really doesn’t want another job because she can’t stand the thought of encountering another “toxic culture.” Instead of facing her issues (dealing with conflict, life’s curve balls, and challenging people), she looks for the easy out. She hastily comes up with a plan that sets her up for failure. “I’ll be my own boss; I’ll do gig work,” Maria says. She signs up with one of the large share-ride companies, even though her instincts told her it was a mistake.
Maria is stuck in a negative loop. She is stuck because she is creating the loop. Maria tries to bring peace by controlling the uncontrollable (other people). The only way she can eliminate her suffering is by changing herself.
Be careful of the spiritual trap
Her idealization of gig work was lost when she picked up her first passenger. Maria was an introvert who loathed driving. The share-ride experience rolled up everything she hated most in one job. Maria quickly realized that working for this company 24/7; still won’t cover her rent. It took less than a month before every credit card she had was maxed out; she was in trouble.
Should she pray? When we feel powerless, it’s comforting to think that something bigger than us controls our lives. That’s the Achilles’ heel of prayer. You put your power in someone else’s hands, which means you’ll never find your power. Now, Maria is trapped because she believes someone else is holding her in a bad situation (or unwilling to help her get out of it).
From a state of worry and lack, Maria dives into concepts like The Work, Mindfulness, and The Power of Now.
Because Maria has never practiced calming herself, she can’t quiet her mind. She explodes in rage and screams…
I could give a flying fig about this superstitious BS. God help me! I need money now!
On the first of the month, Maria received her eviction notice.
Maria starts looking for a job. She seeks organizations that can offer rent relief. In desperation, she sells a ring she’s had since she was a teenager and looks for things in her home that she can sell to come up with her rent money.
It’s too late. Calm settles over Maria as she accepts that this battle is lost. She makes plans to move on.
Hindsight is 20/20
Maria lives in her parent’s basement. It took her less than 90 days to find a job and move out of her parent’s home. After almost a year of soul searching, she was ready to take responsibility for her mistakes.
- When Maria had a job, she lived beyond her means, lived off credit cards, and didn’t put away a percentage of her salary into savings.
- She asks herself if her perceptions of her “toxic” work environment were real or imagined.
- She knew in her gut that the shared ride was a bad idea on many levels.
- Most people who live solo life are fiercely independent. They think they have to do it all, or it’s a sign of weakness.
- She was too proud to reach out for help.
- She wouldn’t apply for unemployment.
- Her ego was bruised, which is the reason she didn’t look for another job.
- She waited too long to look for a job that would cover her bills.
- She was embarrassed to admit her setback.
- She was too proud to ask her family and friends for help.
When we’re suffering, it’s challenging to see the reality of our situation. When Maria screamed, ” God help me! I need money now!” she wasn’t really looking for money. She was looking for what she thought money would bring her – peace.
Did Maria live happily ever after? Yes and no. Maria found a job that paid her bills. She realized until she found the opportunity she wanted; she would have to learn to make peace with where she was right now. The apartment she is living in isn’t the ideal place, but for now, she accepts that this is her home.
She faced three of the toughest years of her life. She reached out to a therapist for help. She embraced her life and learned to overcome uncomfortable situations instead of resisting them.
The Cycle Continues
Maria accepted a job making more money than she’s ever had in her working career. She paid off her debts and moved into a stunning apartment she loved.
Maria finds herself in the honeymoon phase again. Her spiritual journey over the past three years will help her overcome obstacles quicker when they return.
“God” is not a magic genie here to solve our problems, and spiritual maturity does not absolve us from the hardships of our mundane life. Don’t run from or resist difficult times; embrace them. Our spiritual practice helps us navigate difficult times without experiencing the extreme suffering we cause ourselves. Suffering is the spiritual teacher that transforms us from victims to victors.
Welcome to the Empowered Ethos. Learning your path to spiritual maturity and using spiritual principles to solve practical challenges. The empowered ethos is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s doing the hard work to change our lives for the better.
If you think you may hurt yourself or attempt suicide, call a Crisis Counselor, the Suicide Prevention Life Line, or dial 911 immediately.