True story: 30 days to solo living in an uncertain economy
Anya wants to experience solo living. She has never lived alone and is used to the security that roommates provide; she’s curious if it will bring her the peace she is searching for. Still, she is convinced that living with others is her only option.
Anya says, “How can I find an apartment in this economy? I only make $16 per hour, and I have bad credit. My finances are disastrous; there is no way I will pass a credit check. It’s safer to stay where I am until conditions change.” She believes that’s the best answer.
The best laid plans
Sometimes, life has plans completely different from those we’ve laid out. Ironically, the couple that Anya lived with decided to move from their rented home to a smaller apartment at the end of their lease. The couple had two small children, so there would be no room in the new apartment for Anya.
Anya reached out to Maria; someone who has traveled the road she is on, and got sound advice:
Anya: I can’t do it!
Maria: How do you know? You haven’t tried.
Anya: There is an apartment listed for $600 on Craigslist. I have to have that apartment; it’s the only one I can afford!
Maria: Don’t get tunnel vision; stay open and investigate all opportunities. Craigslist is notorious for false advertisements, and $600 sounds low. Second, if the apartment has no utilities included, you’ll end up paying $800+ anyway.
Anya: I have bad credit and a low-paying job. They will reject me.
Maria: That is a possibility. The only way to find out is to put yourself out there. If the apartment complex rejects you, move on to the next place on your list. If you don’t apply for an apartment because YOU think you’re unworthy, you defeat yourself.
Positive Thinking – Your best friend or worse enemy?
Anya started looking. I’m sure many of you think, “She turned that frown upside down, and the perfect apartment effortlessly came to her.” WRONG! For one month, Anya’s life SUCKED as she got rejected repeatedly. Even though she had a plan, in her mind, it failed.
This is where so many people fail. We listen to the gurus tell us how easy life will be if we learn “The Secret” of thinking positively. Positive thinking has its place; it calms the mind and helps us focus. It cannot take the place of action. Anya had a plan but still got rejected. She felt awful.
However, that is what a plan is for. It takes the emotion out of decision-making and keeps us on track. Our plan is the guide that instructs us to pick ourselves up and try again. In other words, the plan says feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s called working your plan.
If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
The more Anya worked on her plan, the easier it became. As with most situations, facing them is less scary than the horrific scenarios that play in our heads. Procrastination is our mind’s way of protecting us. The only thing that protection ensures is that life will pass us by.
What is meant for you will never pass you by – what a crock
Anya: I found an apartment.
Maria: Great! Did you fill out an application and put down a deposit?
Anya: Well, I can’t yet. My credit score is too low. I need to get a credit card and bring up my credit score.
Maria: Hmm. Really? Is that what the leasing consultant told you?
Anya: No, but I believe it will increase my chances of getting the apartment.
This is when Maria dishes out a little tough love. “Anya,” Maria says, “You’ve been talking about living solo for years. Last winter, before inflation was outrageous, you found a $600 apartment in a neighborhood you wanted to live in. You had a decent-paying job but wouldn’t budge because ‘conditions were not perfect.’
Anya, you are waiting for the perfect moment. There is no such thing as the perfect moment. You must play the cards that life has dealt you. When you do, other doors will open. You’ll never see more possibilities unless you take the first step. Trust me, this is how it works.”
Anya: Maria, what will I do if they say no? I can’t take much more rejection.
Maria: Anya, you’re stronger than you think. Since there can be one of two answers, you will continue to work your plan. If the apartment complex says yes, you’ll put down your deposit and move in. If they say no, you’ll keep looking. Hope for the best, but keep looking until you get a definite yes.
In 35 days, Anya became a homeowner
Anya applied to the apartment the next day. Thirty-five days into her journey, Anya got the “yes” she had been waiting for. For the first time, Anya is a homeowner. Ok, it’s an apartment, not a house, but it’s the first place she can call home. Anya is living The Savvy Solo life.
Did Anya find the peace she was looking for by living solo? How the heck is Anya living alone in an $800 apartment, earning $16/hour part-time? Those are stories for another day.
This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the participants.