It’s common practice to keep a diary as an adolescent and continue journaling in adulthood. Maintaining the writing style you had in your teens can be debilitating. Does your journaling style mature with you? Does your writing style free you or keep you stuck in the past?
The Dangers of Keeping a Daily Journal
In our teens, we may keep journals entirely based on our hormones. We write about the people we don’t like or our feelings of rejection. We complain about how unfair life is and our feelings of powerlessness.
As teens, the things that cause us stress often are out of our control. Since we cannot eliminate the stress, we find ways to deal with it. Keeping a diary is a coping skill we learn early in life. It releases pent-up stress.
Unfortunately, the very coping mechanisms we learn in childhood can prevent us from growing as adults. Finding ways to cope as a child was a matter of survival because, in many ways, we were powerless.
That was then; this is now – are you still powerless?
Using our journals like we did when we were kids (blaming, shaming, and complaining) can keep us stuck in perpetual powerlessness. Repeatedly re-visiting uncontrollable bad events during childhood can become a perceived lack of control as an adult.
Keeping a Journal Focused on Negative Events Can Re-Wire The Brain
A journal is a method of communication; it’s a form of self-talk. Some experts say to read your journal to see how far you have come or how much you’ve grown. If your journal is a perpetual record of every perceived failure, slight, and injustice, it keeps you stuck in the past. Continuously writing (and reading) about painful events can lead to chronic complaining.
Instead of finding solutions to change situations we don’t like, we stay in a state of learned helplessness – convinced we are incapable of meeting challenges.
Morgan grew up in a family that struggled financially. Her parents promised her an allowance for taking care of her younger siblings and doing chores around the house. Frequently, Morgan would not get her allowance as her parents needed the money to pay bills.
Morgan’s needs were not addressed as a child; she used her diary to vent how unfairly she was treated. She wrote about how unappreciated and undervalued she felt. Those feelings and ideals followed her into adulthood.
Morgan spent time journaling about her money struggles. She perceived money was hard to come by, feared what she worked for could be taken without her consent, and people in authority were unfair and did not keep their promises. She stayed in a cycle of self-fulfilled prophecy; she spent five years job-hopping to positions where she was underpaid and overworked, and her voice was unheard.
The coping mechanism that saved Morgan as a child crippled her as an adult. The problem with keeping this type of journal is that it’s based on venting instead of finding solutions.
1. It keeps us stuck in the past where there are no solutions.
2. It maintains the habit of looking for every perceived failure, slight, and injustice.
3. We remain in our childhood state of powerlessness instead of transitioning into our adult state of empowerment.
Let’s Try a Practical Exercise
Morgan is a Savvy Solo; she is 100% responsible for paying her bills. Morgan can use her journal to complain about the injustice of our current inflation. Unfortunately, that will not change anything. As an adult, it’s pointless for her to spend energy venting about things beyond her control.
Morgan can brainstorm her options, like making plans to find another job. It seems it would be a snap to replace a job amid the Great Resignation; it can take 3 – 6 months for Morgan to replace her current job. Even gig work has minimum requirements, onboarding processes, and a waitlist that can take weeks before she is accepted.
Here’s an option that will get Morgan immediate results. It’s a choice that many people who invest in journaling overlook – TAKE ACTION. Do what you can with what you have and see what happens.
The Journal of Positive Aspects Actions
As said before, journaling is a form of communication – it’s all talk. If we don’t transition our journaling practices, we never come into our own power.
Morgan needs to get back/forth to work. She believes her best option is to commute using her vehicle. Therefore, she needs gas – the decision is clear, she has to purchase gas.
Did it break her bank? No. Did Morgan make it to work and earn a paycheck to pay her rent? Yes. Did paying for the gas bankrupt her or cause her to lose her home? No. She acted, succeeded, and wrote about her victory in her journal. Morgan now has proof of her success that will build her confidence the next time she encounters a challenge.
Morgan may have limited choices for now, but her new way of journaling will re-wire her brain to her advantage. She will learn to trust her decision-making. The more choices she makes will help her open up to a broader range of possibilities.
Fear is a thought you keep repeating to yourself; it’s a theory. You don’t know what will (or will not) happen until you put your theory to the test. It’s time to re-wire your brain by moving past the stage of thinking that you can’t and embracing success by taking action.
If Edison just “thought” about inventing the lightbulb and never put his theory into action, we could still be sitting in the dark.
Did you know that 85% of the things we fear never happen? Click the link, read this inspiring story, and get more tips on overcoming fear. Maybe we can do a 30-day challenge on releasing fear. Please share your thoughts below.