Have you ever lived alone? Perhaps you live with your parents or have always had a roommate. You think about it more often – what would life be like if I lived alone? I’m glad you asked. Here are the answers to FAQs about solo living.
1. Money
Q: I’ve read articles and heard people say they really struggle with money when they live on their own. Does solo living come with financial stress?
A: Anyone who mismanages money will have financial stress. That’s not a solo thing; that’s a human thing.
Solo dwellers may be more financially aware. Being independent means being solely responsible for your rainy day when it comes. Having roommates is not a guarantee of financial security.
Remember our friend Anya, who lived with a married couple with children before diving into solo living? The lease was ending, and they started looking for separate housing simultaneously. Anya, a Savvy Solo, found an apartment in 30 days. The young couple is still searching.
Understand that chance and circumstance happen to us all, whether you’re solo or not.
2. Loneliness
Q: My family and friends think I will be lonely if I live alone. Is it lonely living on your own?
A: That is your family and friends’ truth. Is it yours? Only you can decide if living solo is right for you.
Next, whoa! We embrace the solo lifestyle – we didn’t say we’re hermits…
- We go to work and are among our colleagues
- When we’re lonely – we hang out with others/invite others to our place
- When we need encouragement – we text/call someone
- When we are frisky – we, well, you know
“For those who think solo living is lonely, try being stuck in a space with the wrong person/people.”
An apartment lease typically lasts for a year. It’s the perfect time to get to know the solo lifestyle. Give yourself six-nine months; if you love it, congratulations on being part of The Savvy Solo tribe. If not, start looking for a roommate (before your lease is up). The choice is yours.
3. The top benefit of solo living
Q: What is the best reason to live alone?
A: A solo dweller is the king or queen of their own domain – they are at war with no one.
Savvy Solos don’t struggle for power. We don’t fight over subjects as important as money and children; or as pointless as whose turn it is to hold the TV remote.
- We are at peace with ourselves.
- We do not compromise.
- We do not sacrifice or surrender.
- We are The Savvy Solos – we don’t have to.
If you feel stressed, bored, or uncomfortable around your present company, you can leave and go to your own home anytime you’re ready. It’s a luxury you don’t have when living with others.
4. The Fear: Old*, Frail, Alone with No One to Take Care of Me
Q: I’m afraid I’ll be one of those lonely old people living with 17 cats*. Who will take care of me when I’m old?
A: Let me introduce you to Oprah Winfrey, age 68. Have you heard of her? She is one of our time’s most influential women (a solo dweller). She doesn’t look frail to me. I’m not sure, but I don’t think she has any cats.
“I have not had one regret about that,” Oprah told People in 2019 about not getting married or having kids. “I also believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfill it in the way that was best for me…”
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah knew her bliss would not be found as a spouse and/or parent. She knew that having children and getting married wasn’t right for her. She has purpose and passion. Don’t let societal pressures dictate your fate.
Follow your instincts. You know who you are supposed to be. Following someone else’s path will only lead to your misery.
Here’s a question for you. Is that you talkin’, or is that your well-meaning family and friends renting space in your head? Are you listening to people that have never embraced and completely misunderstand the solo experience? Hmm, food for thought.
To answer the question, “Who will take care of me when I’m old?” The same person that is taking care of you now. YOU! There is a community called Solo Agers. We are 50+, live alone, and have no children. Most of us have 4+ decades of solo living under our belt. We love our lives and have no intention of giving them up.
As we age, we are aware of the challenges and prepared to meet them. That is what The Savvy Solo is about, a community that helps each other, no matter where you stand on your solo journey.
5. Societal Pressure
Q: Have you noticed these questions are written from the perspective of what other people think?
A: Yes. It is because most people with doubts listen to family, friends, and even journalists telling people horror stories about living alone.
Once again, that’s their truth. Is it your truth?
Take the information (even from “reliable” sources) with a grain of salt. When someone tells you about solo living, ask them, “Oh, is that what you experienced when you lived alone?” You’ll find that most people giving advice (even those writing about the subject) have never lived alone.
Remember, there’s an entirely different mindset between choosing this lifestyle and being suddenly thrust into it by a breakup, divorce, or death in the family.
Solo living is like anything else – it involves people. That means it has ups and downs, advantages and disadvantages. In our opinion, nothing will show you who you are and what you are made of, like living on your own.
It’s time to form your own opinion.
*Don’t take offense to the word, “old.” I’m old too, so just take it as one old head speaking to another. Wear it as the badge of pride and honor it should be.
*No disrespect if you have 17 cats. I don’t have any cats, but I hear they’re fantastic.