by IAmSavvy | Aug 7, 2022 | Finance
Company ethics – the worldwide disease
Ella couldn’t take another day in her toxic work environment. Like millions of people, she took the plunge and quit her job. Freedom! Ella exclaimed as she settled into her new position. Over the next 90 days, her job transformed from tranquil to the toxic environment she had just left. How can this be?
Currently, 40% of us are thinking about leaving our jobs. We’re in pain and desperate to escape our toxic environment. Have you noticed that the shine wears off quickly no matter how often you switch jobs? In a short period, you find you’re in the same environment you just left.
Does this describe you? Let’s look at different sides of the same dysfunctional coin – the hourly and salaried workers.
Hourly workers – the involuntary part-time workforce
Ella is living on her own for the first time. She started a new job that promised her a full-time position of 40 hours a week. In her first week, she worked 30 hours, and the number of hours she worked steadily declined. She now works between 16 and 24 hours a week. It makes it very difficult for her to keep up with her bills because she is not getting the steady income she was promised. 
Ella has to leave this job because, quite frankly, she can’t afford to work there. So, she finds another job that offers the same false promises. She now works two jobs and still doesn’t earn enough money to pay her bills. She is considering filing for *underemployment.
Many people are in Ella’s shoes. Deskless workers, those working in consumer/retail industries, seem to be the hardest hit by involuntary part-time work.
Nothing New Under the Sun
This isn’t a new dynamic. It’s been going on for decades. It hits women and people of color the most and becomes more prevalent during a recession. Companies hire a surplus of hourly workers because they prepare for workers who don’t show up or quit without notice. Workers accept a position with the promise of full-time work.
Both sides suffer
Ironically, the company is causing the reaction they are trying to avoid. Ella is trying to protect herself. The company is trying to protect itself by making promises they will not keep. Company ethics is a zero-sum game – their way or the highway. Ella can’t survive without a job, and a company can’t survive without workers. This isn’t a zero-sum game; everyone loses.
Salaried workers – overworked, underpaid, and overwhelmed.
If you think you have problems setting boundaries at an in-office position…
Faith works at one of the big three automotive companies. At the beginning of the pandemic, she was secretly jealous of those who worked from home. Like most people, she thought, “It must be nice to get paid to sit at home and do nothing.” When Faith started working from home, her eyes were opened.
The number of useless distractions between you and your deadline has quadrupled. People have access to video conferencing, IM, email, and your mobile – and they are not afraid to use them.
According to one report, remote workers are interrupted every 6 – 12 minutes. Imagine if 50% of these interruptions are requests for information or a new task added to your day. The stress can add up, especially if the task is unrelated to your primary job. But you work remotely; you have time to figure out how to get it done, right?
If you thought the once-a-week staff meeting was tedious, imagine attending meetings for 2 – 4 hours daily!
Faith found she had two problems with the mounting meetings she faced. First, she worked for a global company that no longer respected time zones. If the big boss was in Australia and wanted a
3:00 p.m. meeting, you better be on that call.
Second, Faith attempted to complete 10 – 12 hours of work in 8 hours. The barrage of meetings made it harder to meet the already unrealistic deadlines.
If you thought it was hard finding work-life balance in an in-office setting…
Here are some disadvantages of the salaried employee. If someone quits, gets fired, or isn’t pulling their weight – the manager will look to you to take up the slack. Why? Because you’re the super employee. You will work yourself into the ground and do it with a smile. Employers love employees like that.
“Why should I hire a new employee when I know Gretta will do the work of two people for the price of one? She’s a people pleaser that will grind herself into the ground working for this company,
and she’ll never ask for overtime. I’m ok with it.” Yes, this is an actual conversation that an owner of a financial planning firm had with me about his office manager.
You, the super worker, need to learn to set boundaries. Trust me, I’m preaching to the choir. When you work remotely, keeping your home and work life separate can be challenging. “Well, I’ll just work a few more hours,” you say.
Let’s do some calculations of our own. Faith is a super worker who makes $65,000/year. When she did the calculations, she worked 72 hours that week! Using a take-home pay calculator, we see Faith makes $1,006/week. That’s $25.15 for a 40-hour workweek. Now. divide her pay by 72 – Faith earned an hourly wage of $13.97.
Salaried worker, are you eligible for overtime pay? Find out here.
Focus and work on your plan
First, hourly and salaried workers alike must learn how to forgive themselves. We are basically being set up to fail in this no-win situation.
- Hourly workers – you are not failing at life because you can’t make ends meet when all you can find is involuntary part-time wages
- Salaried workers – there’s nothing wrong with you. You are not a failure at your job because you can’t fit 18 hours of work into 8 hours.
Beating yourself up, worrying, and having pity parties will get you nowhere. Stay focused, stay calm and work on your plan.
Here is the same advice given in our introduction article to this 4-part series. Ask yourself, “What empowers me?” If you plan on leaving your job, be smart. Finding a new position may take 3 – 6 months.
Network! Network! Network!
Remember Maria from our first-ever Savvy Solo Article? She is a Latino woman over 50. She sent hundreds of resumes and felt invisible. She doesn’t have any social connections, and she doesn’t make friends easily.
Maria knew one co-worker she kept in touch with when they departed from a company 5 years ago. That connection opened the door, and Maria got a new job in two weeks.
It’s not what you know; it’s who you know that’s important.
A few of you may say, “I don’t know anyone!” Ok, we’ve got you covered. Contact a temporary employment agency. They can be a valuable resource in your job search. Temp agencies specialize in everything from cashiers to CEOs. Use every resource at your disposal.
Sometimes you need to reach out to others to get your foot in the door. There’s a time and season for everything. There’s a time to stand alone and a time to graciously accept help when needed. It’s time to take actions that get results.
TAKE AWAY
This just in: Did you know the average rent for a studio apartment in Long Island, NY, is $2,500/month? Most properties want their tenants to make 4 times the rent to qualify for an apartment. That means the tenants must make $62.50/hour to live in a 550-square-foot apartment! Here’s the real comedy, the minimum wage in New York is $15/hour.
*Two staunchly different views
Board Members and CEOs think they are really doing something when they offer someone $19/hour. They puff out their chests and say, “We are the heroes of the working class. We create jobs!”
Really? From the working class’s point of view, this broken system creates modern day slaves.
Heaven help us all.
In Corporate America, the company always wins. Why? Because as long as it’s their game and their rules, the worker always loses. I’ll see you in part two, where we will explore gig work.
*The laws of underemployment vary by state. To learn more, go to Google and type “underemployment” + the state. The word underemployment must be in quotation marks. Example: “underemployment” Missouri.
by IAmSavvy | Jul 31, 2022 | Empowered Ethos, Travel
Many people who live alone are missing out on the joys of solo life because they are afraid to do activities alone. In three interviews, we give you 50 years of experience from solo adventurers who live life on their terms. We interviewed a private investigator who is a solo traveler with some great tips on staying safe. We also interviewed a veteran solo diner and solo adventurer who experienced a unique activity for the first time.
Meet Brenda – a solo dining veteran
Brenda is a Savvy Solo in her late 50s who has enjoyed solo dining for 3 decades. She will give you a new perspective on dining alone.
Q: Why do you dine alone?
Brenda: Simple, I love to eat! There are so many cuisines to experience. I get to do what I want without worrying if the person I’m with is having a good time. Have you ever dined with someone who misses the point of the dining experience? It will suck the joy out of the experience.
Dining is an experience. Most people don’t get that. If you want to have three appetizers – do it. If you don’t like your entrée, send it back or buy another. Do you want to try two desserts to see which one you like best? Have at it!
Have you ever dined with someone who makes more or less money than you? You worry if your dinner companion can afford it. If you eat with someone that makes more money, they may suggest a restaurant you can’t afford. Now, the focus is on paying the bill. You miss the beautiful experience of what dining should be. I don’t have to meet another’s expectations when I dine alone.
Q: Aren’t you lonely when you dine alone?
Brenda: I am never alone – unless I want to be. I’ve been dining alone since my early 20s; wherever I go, someone interesting always crosses my path.
I once hopped on a train for my birthday and went to Chicago to dine at the Cheesecake Factory (there wasn’t one in Michigan then). I took a cab and had a great conversation with the driver. I went to the Navy Pier, where I met someone. We talked and exchanged numbers.
When I arrived at the Cheesecake Factory, I sat at the bar, had a drink, and ordered my meal. A woman came and sat next to me. We had a lovely conversation, ate a meal, and went our separate ways. The train attendant flirted with me on the train ride home and offered me a free drink. It was perfect. It was adventurous.
Q: Did you feel unsafe when you’re alone?
Brenda: As my story illustrates, the Universe always puts someone in my path that helps me or has something to teach me. Staying in a crowded, well-lit environment is one of the first safety rules I learned as a girl. What place is more crowded or well-lit than a restaurant? As a woman, I never doubt my instincts. If my gut tells me, “no, don’t do it,” I’m out. No questions asked.
Q: Does it make you feel ashamed to eat alone?
Brenda: Quite the opposite; it made me feel empowered. I am “the fool that rushes in where angels fear to tread.” Some take the word fool as a negative connotation. The fool is actually the person at the beginning of the journey which has no inhibitions or preconceived notions and is unconcerned with what others think. I am unique and refuse to be bound by the stereotypes of others. I like that.
Q: What do you do with yourself when you dine in public?
Brenda: I see what others are eating and ask if it whets my appetite. I watch waiters interact with others. I listen to live music if it’s available. I savor every moment my five physical senses can muster during the exquisite meal. If you bury your head in a book or cell phone, that’s not experiencing; that’s hiding.
Dining alone makes most people uncomfortable because it makes them feel vulnerable and exposed. They wonder how others judge them. Newsflash: other diners are not thinking about you.
I don’t say this as a slight, but people are self-absorbed – they are not wasting time thinking about you. If you see two or more at a table, they are thinking about their date, business deal, or how they come across to others, the last thing on their minds is you.
Q: What would you say to those who want to dine alone but are afraid to try it?
Brenda: Do you go grocery shopping or to the post office alone? You are in public by yourself every day. It’s just that when you go to dinner or to the movies, it’s something society says you’re not “supposed” to do alone. That’s bull! Do not let stereotypes hold you back. What happens if you base your actions on what other people think? In that case, a lifetime of joy, opportunities, and experiences will pass you by.
Meet Cristina – a first-time solo concert enthusiast
Cristina is in her mid-thirties. For the first time, she decided to go to a concert by herself.
Q: Why did you go to a concert alone?
Cristina: I really wanted to see this artist. My desire to see this artist was stronger than my fear of going to the concert alone.
Q: As a female, were you afraid to go alone?
Cristina: Yes and no. I wasn’t afraid because the concert hall was crowded, and security guards and police officers were everywhere. There is always a possibility that something terrible could happen, but you can’t let that stop you from living. Besides, the crowd is so thick in a concert hall no one can tell if you’re alone or with the people sitting next to you. So, I felt pretty safe.
Q: What other precautions did you use to stay safe?
Cristina: I don’t draw attention to myself. I don’t wear expensive items. I don’t carry a purse; I just wear a fanny pack, with a bit of cash, and my ID. I take my cell phone and make sure it’s fully charged. I used Uber, so someone was waiting to take me home. I didn’t have to walk through a parking lot by myself. I stayed in contact with friends. They knew where I was going and what time I would arrive home.
Q: What about Covid?
Cristina: I said a little prayer. LOL. It was an indoor concert, and I could count the number of people I saw wearing a mask on two hands. Once I got to my seat, I put my mask on. If you’re going to get Covid, all the precautions won’t stop it. I’ve had my shots; I did everything I could to prevent it so, I will continue to live my life.
Q: Did you feel lonely?
Cristina: I did feel lonely at first and during intermission. When the artist came on stage, and I started vibing to the music, I didn’t care. I enjoyed myself, and I’m
glad I decided to go.
Q: Were you ashamed to be by yourself at a concert?
Cristina: When I was younger, it probably would have bothered me. I realized that it takes security and strength to follow your heart. For me, it’s a sign of spiritual maturity to be comfortable with myself. I’m enjoying my growth.
Q: What would you say to a friend reluctant to go to a concert solo?
Cristina: Don’t be afraid of what others think. It’s important to exercise your independence. When you do something you’re afraid of, you’ll look back with a smile and say, “Yeah, I did that.” There is no greater boost to your confidence. If you let fear get in the way, you will have a lifetime of regrets.
Meet Daamini – A solo, frequent flyer for business and pleasure
Daamini is a private investigator in her mid-forties. Her job requires a great deal of travel. Here are some tips from a seasoned private investigator.
Q: What do you like about traveling solo?
Daamini: I’ve been traveling alone for 20 years. I don’t have to hold long conversations. I can put on headphones and listen to an excellent audible book. It truly gives me peace of mind. It helps me to clear my mind.
Q: Do you feel lonely traveling alone?
Daamini: No. I’m able to meditate. As I travel the world, I understand the world from another culture’s point of view. I like driving across the country. Then I’m on my own; I don’t owe anyone a conversation. My soul is at peace in the silence. I see the beauty in nature, and it makes me feel connected to God. That’s important to me.
Q: Do you feel ashamed to travel alone?
Daamini: When I first started traveling, I always wanted someone to accompany me. I would ask others to go with me, and I would get turned down. I didn’t like traveling alone, and I thought it was embarrassing. I felt alone; no one wants to travel with me. I realized the people I wanted to travel with were financially in a different place.
I stopped telling myself the story that no one wanted to be with me. I put a positive spin on it. Instead of saying I have to travel alone, I would say I have the finances and freedom to see the world.
Q: What about Covid?
Daamini: I have both shots but did not take the booster. I’ve contracted Covid twice. Neither incident coincided with travel. When I travel, I take every preventative measure to protect myself and others. I know, personally, that taking precautions doesn’t prevent disease.
Daamini has a special insight into security because she’s a private investigator. I asked what advice she would give to females that want to travel alone.
Q: As a female, how do you stay safe traveling alone?
Daamini: Remember, knowledge is power. Make research a priority in your travel plans. Look into the city or the state. These are some things I look for:
- What are the crime statistics for the city?
- Are there gangs in the area?
- Are there high occurrences of violence against women?
- Will I have to take subways or trains as means of transportation?
Q: Do you have any other tips for females traveling alone?
Daamini:
- Don’t make it obvious that you’re alone, especially when traveling abroad.
- Research crime statistics for the place you want to visit.
- If you don’t have a phone with FaceTime, rent one if you travel abroad.
- When eating alone, never leave your table unattended.
- If you are a drinker, do not drink to the point where your judgment is impaired.
- Always be aware of your surroundings.
- Stay in well-lit areas with security cameras and make sure your face is recognized by the security camera.
- If you come up missing, this will give authorities clues to where you were last seen.
- Weapons are not allowed when traveling by air. Still, you can purchase a mini air horn and keep it on you at all times . Keep your money and ID in anti-theft, underarm holster bag and wear it underneath your clothing.
If you are traveling alone, my best advice is to travel on a guided tour. You can be independent and have someone watching your back simultaneously. When traveling alone, do not wander off from your group.
Human trafficking is very real. You would be surprised at the number of women involved in con schemes. It’s easy for a woman to gain your trust, drug your meal, and wait for her male counterpart to pick you up once the drug has taken effect. Be vigilant so you do not become a victim.
Q: Wow, Daamini, we are trying to convince women to step out and take risks. If I read this interview, I would go home, lock my doors, and never come out! Brenda had a great experience doing the exact opposite of what you’re suggesting. How can both accounts be correct?
Daamini: I would be negligent if I didn’t inform your readers of the dangers. Ok, let’s look at Brenda’s experience step-by-step:
- Brenda took a six-hour train ride from Michigan to Illinois
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- There were train attendants on the train
- She took a cab from the train station to the Navy Pier
- There are security and police officers that constantly patrol the Navy Pier
- There were multiple staff members (bartenders, wait staff, bus people) when she sat at the bar at the Cheesecake Factory
Brenda stated, “I am never alone – unless I want to be.” That sounds like decades of solo experience that kicks in automatically, and she may not be aware of it. She probably had some knowledge of Chicago since it was so close to where she lived. Lastly, she spoke of taking a cab instead of Uber. So, this could be about a story in the past. We live in a very different world today.
Knowledge is power. There’s a difference between taking educated risks and the uninformed reckless act that we call blind faith.
Q: What would you say to someone hesitant to travel solo?
Daamini: The world is a beautiful place, but it’s also a place where terrible things can happen to anyone. As the old cliché goes, you can get hit by a bus just stepping outside your door in the morning. That should not stop you. There are always risks. Do your best to make informed choices and enjoy your life.
There you have it, no holds barred – the joys and dangers of solo adventures. C’mon, Savvy Solos, go eat at that restaurant or go on the trip you always wanted to take. Don’t let fear keep you from a lifetime of beautiful experiences.
Do you have any experience or concerns about solo living? Do you have a different point of view? We would love to hear it. Please leave your comments below.
by IAmSavvy | Jul 24, 2022 | Recipes, Wellness
It’s summer, and our nation has hit a heatwave. It’s hot and muggy. Who wants to turn on an oven? It makes you wilt just thinking about it. Here is a 6-ingredient, no-bake recipe that you’re sure to love. You can make this quick and easy sweet treat in 20 minutes.
Strawberry Mini Cheesecake
No one wants to turn on the oven on a hot day. Why makea whole cheesecake when a miniature one will do? This no-bake recipe is sosimple and it’s ready in 20 minutes. Satisfy your sweet tooth in no time.
Prep Time 10 minutes mins
Cook Time 10 minutes mins
Total Time 20 minutes mins
Course Dessert
Cuisine American
Servings 1
Calories 866 kcal
- 1/4 cup original flavoredcream cheese softened
- 2 medium strawberries + 1 small strawberry
- 2 tsp heavy cream
- 2 tbsp sugar
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
- 1 mini graham pie crust read-made
Mix the cream cheese,sugar, and vanilla in a small bowl.
In a separate medium-size bowl, add the heavy cream. Use an electric mixer on medium speed to whip the cream into stiff peaks, about 2 minutes.
Fold the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture to create the filling.
Gently pour the filling into the ready-made pie crust, then refrigerate for 10 minutes.
Cut the stem off the small strawberry. Place the strawberry flat side down in the middle of the mini cheesecake.
Cut the stems off two medium-sized strawberries. Place them flat-side down and cut them into even slices.
Place the sliced strawberries on the cheesecake in a circular pattern around the small strawberry in the center.
When Life Hands You Strawberries, Make a Cheesecake
My plan was to delight you with a mini cheesecake recipe. While I was planning my recipe, the worst thing imaginable happened. My air conditioning went out on a muggy day with temperatures reaching 90+ degrees! NO!
I then realized that even with air conditioning, we don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen with a hot oven. Eureka! The Savvy Solo Strawberry Mini Cheesecake was born.
A Lesson in Portion Control
The first time I made this recipe, I used ¼ cup of finely crushed ready-made graham pie crust and melted butter. Why didn’t I use graham crackers? If the graham crackers were in my home, I would start nibbling. It’s a bad habit to get into if you are trying to watch your weight.
If you work at home, it gives you an opportunity to nibble all day. It’s wise not to keep large quantities of items on hand that will tempt you to overeat (cookies, chips, sugary drinks, etc.). You’re probably thinking, if you’re watching your weight, why eat cheesecake? When it comes to weight loss, moderation worked; starvation didn’t. That is my first-hand experience.
If you live alone and make a whole cheesecake, what will happen? Will you give it to friends or family? Will you eat one slice and throw the rest out? No. You will say before I freeze it, I’ll just have one more sliver… The next thing you know, you’ve eaten half a cheesecake by yourself.
A mini cheesecake is a perfect portion for a solo dweller.
A list of options as big as your imagination
- Substitute plain cream cheese with strawberry flavored
- Omit the strawberries and use brown sugar & cinnamon
- Use honey & pecan cream cheese, and add sliced banana on the top
- Use peached flavored cream cheese and add fresh sliced peaches to the top
- Used pineapple flavored cream cheese and top with brown sugar, brandied walnuts, and chocolate shavings
You can create your own version of this mini delight. I hope you will share your favorite creations with The Savvy Solo tribe in the comments below.
by IAmSavvy | Jul 17, 2022 | Dear Savvy, Empowered Ethos, Finance
Dear Savvy,
Daily, I deal with office politics, workplace bullying, long commutes, an overbearing boss, and unrealistic workloads. It’s causing me mental, physical, and emotional distress. I live alone, which may cause financial strain if I leave, but I’m miserable. I can’t keep going like this. Should I quit my job?
Manic in Manhattan
Dear Manic,
First, you’re not alone. Millions of employees describe their jobs as mind-numbing, back-breaking, or soul-sucking. They tell their employers that their jobs destroy their minds, bodies, and souls. And like many, Manic, you’re so stressed that you’re willing to quit your job to get emotional relief.
Stress can lead to snap judgments. While living on your own, it’s crucial to make savvy decisions and not jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.
To be a Savvy Solo, you must consider how your next move will affect you. If you live alone, you depend on a sole income. Do you have a fallback plan? We are amid the Great Resignation; it seems people are allowing themselves to get caught up in this movement.
- Take this job and shove it!
- I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!
To use a cliché, “If everyone planned to jump off a cliff, would you do it too?” People are willing to jump on the Great Resignation bandwagon. Do you know the financial state of these employees when they quit their jobs?
- Did they have a new job lined up?
- Did they have savings?
- How long will (or did) their savings last?
- If they have no savings, how do they make money?
- If they chose unemployment, what happened when it ran out?
Leaving a job can be liberating – when you leave under the right circumstances. I’ve been in the workforce (and a Savvy Solo) for four decades. I’ve been everything from a cashier to a business owner. I’ve taken that leap of faith (letting go of my job) more than once, and I’ve lived it from all aspects:
- I’ve resigned without a new job lined up.
- I’ve resigned without savings.
- I’ve given two weeks’ notice and went to another job.
- I decided to resign after building an impressive savings account.
I’m speaking from experience. There is something worse than having a lousy job. Having no income, no savings, and no job prospects is far more stressful than an awful job. When you live alone, trying to survive without an income feels powerless.
I know it’s a challenge to show up to a job every day:
- Going someplace you don’t want to go
- To be with people you don’t want to be with
- To do things you despise doing
At The Savvy Solo, we are resourceful. We try not to dwell on our problems; we face them and solve them. Before you quit, think about the consequences. Will you honestly be better off with or without a job right now?
If you’re making a decision that generates more problems than it solves – try a different solution. Am I saying you shouldn’t quit your job? No. I am saying be smart about it. What actions can you take? Be savvy – forget what you can’t do or can’t control – WHAT CAN YOU DO RIGHT NOW. What are your options?
To allow you to discover more options, I’ll turn your question into a four-part series:
Here is the immediate answer to your question. I would ask myself this simple question.
What is more important to me, leaving my job or paying my bills?
The underlying question is, “What empowers me?” If my job is degrading, and the environment is hostile and toxic, I would leave the job. However, there is nothing more important to me than my home. If leaving my job puts me in a state of powerlessness where I can’t provide for myself, I would stay at my job (and aggressively make plans to find a new one).
The best advice is don’t make an emotional decision. Look at your finances and make the decision that is best for you. You are the only one that can answer what empowers you.
by IAmSavvy | Jul 10, 2022 | Empowered Ethos, Wellness
It’s common practice to keep a diary as an adolescent and continue journaling in adulthood. Maintaining the writing style you had in your teens can be debilitating. Does your journaling style mature with you? Does your writing style free you or keep you stuck in the past?
The Dangers of Keeping a Daily Journal
In our teens, we may keep journals entirely based on our hormones. We write about the people we don’t like or our feelings of rejection. We complain about how unfair life is and our feelings of powerlessness.
As teens, the things that cause us stress often are out of our control. Since we cannot eliminate the stress, we find ways to deal with it. Keeping a diary is a coping skill we learn early in life. It releases pent-up stress.
Unfortunately, the very coping mechanisms we learn in childhood can prevent us from growing as adults. Finding ways to cope as a child was a matter of survival because, in many ways, we were powerless.
That was then; this is now – are you still powerless?
Using our journals like we did when we were kids (blaming, shaming, and complaining) can keep us stuck in perpetual powerlessness. Repeatedly re-visiting uncontrollable bad events during childhood can become a perceived lack of control as an adult.
Keeping a Journal Focused on Negative Events Can Re-Wire The Brain
A journal is a method of communication; it’s a form of self-talk. Some experts say to read your journal to see how far you have come or how much you’ve grown. If your journal is a perpetual record of every perceived failure, slight, and injustice, it keeps you stuck in the past. Continuously writing (and reading) about painful events can lead to chronic complaining.
Instead of finding solutions to change situations we don’t like, we stay in a state of learned helplessness – convinced we are incapable of meeting challenges.
Morgan grew up in a family that struggled financially. Her parents promised her an allowance for taking care of her younger siblings and doing chores around the house. Frequently, Morgan would not get her allowance as her parents needed the money to pay bills.
Morgan’s needs were not addressed as a child; she used her diary to vent how unfairly she was treated. She wrote about how unappreciated and undervalued she felt. Those feelings and ideals followed her into adulthood.
Morgan spent time journaling about her money struggles. She perceived money was hard to come by, feared what she worked for could be taken without her consent, and people in authority were unfair and did not keep their promises. She stayed in a cycle of self-fulfilled prophecy; she spent five years job-hopping to positions where she was underpaid and overworked, and her voice was unheard.
The coping mechanism that saved Morgan as a child crippled her as an adult. The problem with keeping this type of journal is that it’s based on venting instead of finding solutions.
1. It keeps us stuck in the past where there are no solutions.
2. It maintains the habit of looking for every perceived failure, slight, and injustice.
3. We remain in our childhood state of powerlessness instead of transitioning into our adult state of empowerment.
Let’s Try a Practical Exercise
Morgan is a Savvy Solo; she is 100% responsible for paying her bills. Morgan can use her journal to complain about the injustice of our current inflation. Unfortunately, that will not change anything. As an adult, it’s pointless for her to spend energy venting about things beyond her control.
Morgan can brainstorm her options, like making plans to find another job. It seems it would be a snap to replace a job amid the Great Resignation; it can take 3 – 6 months for Morgan to replace her current job. Even gig work has minimum requirements, onboarding processes, and a waitlist that can take weeks before she is accepted.
Here’s an option that will get Morgan immediate results. It’s a choice that many people who invest in journaling overlook – TAKE ACTION. Do what you can with what you have and see what happens.
The Journal of Positive Aspects Actions
As said before, journaling is a form of communication – it’s all talk. If we don’t transition our journaling practices, we never come into our own power.
Morgan needs to get back/forth to work. She believes her best option is to commute using her vehicle. Therefore, she needs gas – the decision is clear, she has to purchase gas.
Did it break her bank? No. Did Morgan make it to work and earn a paycheck to pay her rent? Yes. Did paying for the gas bankrupt her or cause her to lose her home? No. She acted, succeeded, and wrote about her victory in her journal. Morgan now has proof of her success that will build her confidence the next time she encounters a challenge.
Morgan may have limited choices for now, but her new way of journaling will re-wire her brain to her advantage. She will learn to trust her decision-making. The more choices she makes will help her open up to a broader range of possibilities.
Fear is a thought you keep repeating to yourself; it’s a theory. You don’t know what will (or will not) happen until you put your theory to the test. It’s time to re-wire your brain by moving past the stage of thinking that you can’t and embracing success by taking action.
If Edison just “thought” about inventing the lightbulb and never put his theory into action, we could still be sitting in the dark.
Did you know that 85% of the things we fear never happen? Click the link, read this inspiring story, and get more tips on overcoming fear. Maybe we can do a 30-day challenge on releasing fear. Please share your thoughts below.
